"People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered...
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives...
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies...
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you...
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight...
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous...
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow...
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough...
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; IT WAS NEVER BETWEEN YOU AND THEM ANYWAY."
10.25.2007
10.23.2007
for those who raised me...
There have been many times in my life when I've thought, "I never want to be like my parents." I've gotten frustrated, hurt, or angry at some points (whether I had a right to or not). Now I'm not so sure I feel that way any more. I'm almost positive that I don't.
No, I don't want to BE my parents. I have different expectations for myself and for my life than they do/did for theirs. My environments and experiences have given me the opportunity to dream differently (maybe not really bigger in every sense, but very very differently). I don't want to make the same choices in certain situations or follow their paths exactly. But I wouldn't mind at all being like them.
I want to work hard for what I have. To be dedicated and stable. To have common sense, not just intelligence. I want to raise a daughter (or son) who wants to call me to tell me about her life, even when she's in college. Who appreciates me. Who doesn't have it all together, but who does at least have most of her major priorities straight. I want to raise kids I can trust. To treat them with all the love and support that MY parents have treated me with.
I am who I am because I have overwhelmingly loving parents. They've overcome a lot to be the great parents they are. They make mistakes, but they apologize and we move on. They let me make mistakes and love me when I make them. They let me know all the time how proud they are of me and THAT makes me want to make them proud. They don't always understand me, but they do trust me and show me that they do. I've been infused with so much more love than I deserve. I want to be a person like that.
If you two are reading this, THANK YOU. Thank you for everything. I know you're not perfect, but you have done a great job in my eyes...
and I LOVE YOU more than life.
No, I don't want to BE my parents. I have different expectations for myself and for my life than they do/did for theirs. My environments and experiences have given me the opportunity to dream differently (maybe not really bigger in every sense, but very very differently). I don't want to make the same choices in certain situations or follow their paths exactly. But I wouldn't mind at all being like them.
I want to work hard for what I have. To be dedicated and stable. To have common sense, not just intelligence. I want to raise a daughter (or son) who wants to call me to tell me about her life, even when she's in college. Who appreciates me. Who doesn't have it all together, but who does at least have most of her major priorities straight. I want to raise kids I can trust. To treat them with all the love and support that MY parents have treated me with.
I am who I am because I have overwhelmingly loving parents. They've overcome a lot to be the great parents they are. They make mistakes, but they apologize and we move on. They let me make mistakes and love me when I make them. They let me know all the time how proud they are of me and THAT makes me want to make them proud. They don't always understand me, but they do trust me and show me that they do. I've been infused with so much more love than I deserve. I want to be a person like that.
If you two are reading this, THANK YOU. Thank you for everything. I know you're not perfect, but you have done a great job in my eyes...
and I LOVE YOU more than life.
10.18.2007
work
I think I'm getting too restless.
I want to get out of here, go do something I've never done, go create something, experience life in the beauty of relaxation, work on something that is a heck of a lot more valuable to SOMEBODY than studying thermophysics.
I'm getting lazy, and I want to stop working. That's my problem! I love Clemson, I love learning (as nerdy as that is), and I love my life. I just don't want to do school work any more.
Sometimes I wonder why I have to find time to work so hard on so many things, and then expect to be excited about working on my relationships. With my roommates, with my friends, with people I have yet to meet, with my family, and even (hopefully most importantly) with Jesus. Some come easily, some don't. It's really hard for me to get excited about having to put so much effort into them when I put so much effort into everything else too. Why do I look at it like that?
God forgive me for putting you in my "work" category and forgetting that it is such a joy to be able to pursue the heart of the one who loves me in ways I cannot even imagine. I love you, but never do I even come close to loving you enough. Show me how to overcome that, and remind me that seeking your heart above everything else and showing the love I find there to others is the most important "work" I'll ever do.
I want to get out of here, go do something I've never done, go create something, experience life in the beauty of relaxation, work on something that is a heck of a lot more valuable to SOMEBODY than studying thermophysics.
I'm getting lazy, and I want to stop working. That's my problem! I love Clemson, I love learning (as nerdy as that is), and I love my life. I just don't want to do school work any more.
Sometimes I wonder why I have to find time to work so hard on so many things, and then expect to be excited about working on my relationships. With my roommates, with my friends, with people I have yet to meet, with my family, and even (hopefully most importantly) with Jesus. Some come easily, some don't. It's really hard for me to get excited about having to put so much effort into them when I put so much effort into everything else too. Why do I look at it like that?
God forgive me for putting you in my "work" category and forgetting that it is such a joy to be able to pursue the heart of the one who loves me in ways I cannot even imagine. I love you, but never do I even come close to loving you enough. Show me how to overcome that, and remind me that seeking your heart above everything else and showing the love I find there to others is the most important "work" I'll ever do.
the only time I disagree with enthusiasm...
I want to be a person who cares about who you are.
You aren't a handshake or a fake smile to me. You aren't just another person who knows my name and thinks it's really awesome that I took the time to pretend to remember you. I don't CARE if 1000 people know my face, I care if 10 people know I love them. God forgive me if I ever, even once, fake a relationship with you in the name of "spreading the joy of Jesus," because I'm absolutely certain that you won't ever want Jesus to love you like that. If I give the impression that the church is about how many bodies can we get to hear our message, I'm sorry.
The church I want to be is one that cares about how many hearts are moved by a LIVING gospel that starts the minute I make eye contact with you and continues through a presentation of the truth of scripture. God has put a number on every hair on your head, and knows which one is which. The least I can do, if I'm claiming to love you in His name, is reflect a genuine concern for the person you are and are becoming. I'm not going to lie and say that I can create that with everyone I meet. I'm not going to pretend that it's possible for me to personally show that kind of personal love to hundreds of people either. But maybe I am saying that I would rather interact with FEWER people BETTER. It isn't that I care any less about the others...but I do care about those few enough to slice my time a little thicker and invest a little more so they KNOW how much they are loved.
You aren't a handshake or a fake smile to me. You aren't just another person who knows my name and thinks it's really awesome that I took the time to pretend to remember you. I don't CARE if 1000 people know my face, I care if 10 people know I love them. God forgive me if I ever, even once, fake a relationship with you in the name of "spreading the joy of Jesus," because I'm absolutely certain that you won't ever want Jesus to love you like that. If I give the impression that the church is about how many bodies can we get to hear our message, I'm sorry.
The church I want to be is one that cares about how many hearts are moved by a LIVING gospel that starts the minute I make eye contact with you and continues through a presentation of the truth of scripture. God has put a number on every hair on your head, and knows which one is which. The least I can do, if I'm claiming to love you in His name, is reflect a genuine concern for the person you are and are becoming. I'm not going to lie and say that I can create that with everyone I meet. I'm not going to pretend that it's possible for me to personally show that kind of personal love to hundreds of people either. But maybe I am saying that I would rather interact with FEWER people BETTER. It isn't that I care any less about the others...but I do care about those few enough to slice my time a little thicker and invest a little more so they KNOW how much they are loved.
10.01.2007
my ever-developing decision making skills
Life is balance. Faith is balance. Politics (oh help) is balance. There are always extremes, and undoubtedly someone will always claim both extremes on either side of just about EVERYTHING to be truth. I have found, in many many cases, that truth comes from the balance of both (schoolwork vs. friends, over-defensive vs. doormat, legalism vs. Christian freedom, etc.).
Let's just say, hypothetically, that I don't find the exact balance of everything in my life. Just for an example. What then? Falling on either side of that balance line brings consequences; we, humans, will probably hit it right on very few times in our lives, so the question becomes... which consequences would I rather deal with?
I think I've made preliminary decisions at least on some of the contradicting views in my life. I would rather deal with reading something offensive from time to time than have to fight to make my views heard from time to time. I would rather have a bad grade or two than regret not investing time into someone. I would rather put my whole heart and effort into a relationship I believe in and have my heart broken than always be cautious and have to settle for something easier. I would rather regret what I did than regret what I didn't do. I'd rather put a lot of convicts in jail for a long time than find out later that we used the death penalty on even one innocent person (which we've discovered several times--I used to be in favor of the death penalty). I would rather be somewhat taken advantage of than somewhat take advantage of someone else. I generally tend to err on the side of being too nice than too mean.
I doubt I can simplify every decision in my life so easily, though it would be nice.
Let's just say, hypothetically, that I don't find the exact balance of everything in my life. Just for an example. What then? Falling on either side of that balance line brings consequences; we, humans, will probably hit it right on very few times in our lives, so the question becomes... which consequences would I rather deal with?
I think I've made preliminary decisions at least on some of the contradicting views in my life. I would rather deal with reading something offensive from time to time than have to fight to make my views heard from time to time. I would rather have a bad grade or two than regret not investing time into someone. I would rather put my whole heart and effort into a relationship I believe in and have my heart broken than always be cautious and have to settle for something easier. I would rather regret what I did than regret what I didn't do. I'd rather put a lot of convicts in jail for a long time than find out later that we used the death penalty on even one innocent person (which we've discovered several times--I used to be in favor of the death penalty). I would rather be somewhat taken advantage of than somewhat take advantage of someone else. I generally tend to err on the side of being too nice than too mean.
I doubt I can simplify every decision in my life so easily, though it would be nice.
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