relationship advice (don't worry, i'm not really giving you any)

I'm glad most of my female friends read these. Most of them aren't really all that interesting if you're a boy, I'm sure. Sorry about that.

There is not "standard relationship advice." There isn't. I promise. Similarities and basic principles, yes. But basic principles tend to be just that, and they show up in different ways in different relationships.

People are different. When you put unique people together, you get a unique combination of personalities and interests and needs that really has to be explored and figured out at that point. My schedule, my concerns, my history, my passions aren't yours. Some things are more important to me than they are to others, and some are less. Even if you truly get over things that have happened to you in the past, those things affect what you will look for in the future. Things I can tell you with certainty that I need in a relationship when I'm single might actually be...you guessed it...WRONG. (I'll wait for the shock-and-awe effect to clear =] ). But heck, you might really like those ideas that I had a while ago that aren't all that important to me any more. What works for me probably won't make you all that happy. Because we're all really different. And that's really good.

Maybe I'll get my list back out one day and share it. I do have a list, and I like it--it's a good one.

For me.

There are things on it that I would recommend to anybody...and some that I know are absolutely not going to be compromised in my future relationship(s), though they might not matter at all in yours. Whatever your list ends up looking like, understand that a lot of the effort in your relationship will probably go into figuring out (with that person) what success looks like for the two of you--how your individual personalities work best with one another. In any event, understand that it will take effort.